Lightning Strikes

Conversation had in Edinburgh with an English girl discussing the differences between men and women (Venus and Mars):

Me: "What Planet are we on?"
Girl: "Mars!"

(Pause)

Girl: "I was born on bonfire night! So I'm used to fireworks! I love big bangs!"

Are you sure it's not Venus then?

Don't throw cows when you are a farmer - unless you want a milkshake...

TukTuk

Overheard at [withheld by request]...

I don't know if I ever slept with a Polish guy...
I need to go pee and think about that...

-Name withheld by request

Better to be hot and bothered than not bothered at all...

TukTuk

London; sometimes we hate it, but we really do love it, don't we?

Does anyone know who wrote this?

A Letter To The Terrorists, From London

In Mexican Restaurant:

"I love Mexican food! You can suck it out of your fingernails for a half hour after..."

Name withheld by request

Tim O'Brien's take on devolution...

For you daily shot of amorality check out...

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."

Mark Twain

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear....

Honestly guys, I thought you would have spotted this one ages ago!!!

I think this one is finished. Comments?

Ridden

Ridden with angst
Under my skin – my flesh
The prickling sensation of fear
Unknown source
Unknown reason
Unknown to a world

The true cold fact
Of a reality - long gone
Beyond the cliffs of reason
Of sole facts
Handling this
I’m handling this

Surface for air
Like a fleeing whale
The spear already torn
Through the flesh
The skin – the angst
Ridden with chill

Am I handling this?
Or is it handling me?
Pull the spear
Make it known
The reason for pain
Riding my soul

Must be just me seeing the dude's head then... Someone call the Loony Toons?

Tell me if you see this freaky thing too....

Or is it just me going mad?

Don't worry if you don't get it - that's the point - if there was one...

Two mice in a bath tub.
One mouse politely asked the other: "Would you mind handing me the soap?"
To which it got the reply: "What do I look like to you? A bloody typewriter?!"

Two cows on a hill.
One tripped and fell, rolling all the way down the hill. It got up and expressed: "Mooooh!!!!"
The second cow promptly commmented: "Damn you! That's what I wanted to say!"

Two balloons in a dessert.
One balloon noted to the other: "How about them Sox?"
The other, slightly startled: "What cactussssssss?"

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. What will become of them?
This world is truly coming to an end.

Socrates